This Is Weird

Now that two of my idols, Aubrey De Grey and Elon Musk, have commented on this nobody’s crappy site this really reinforces the simulation/God-is-real/this-world-is-totally-fake vibes. I checked where the messages came from and it seems legit:

My hedonic tone didn’t increase as I think it should have for such a life changing event. But I did have a smile on my face for a long time. And I think I feel safer, knowing that 2020 won’t be as cruel with me as 2019 was – riddled with heavy depression and torpor. When I was locked in the hospital for the second time in 2019 for suicidal ideation one of my wishes I wrote on a paper was to meet Elon Musk. I haven’t met him but this is close enough, and perhaps even better since he came to me and not me to him. That was totally unexpected. Thank you universe. This miracle was somewhere around the level of when the universe directly replied to my thoughts with a car passing by in Punta Cana, but even more miraculous. I randomly burst out into little laughs throughout the day because it’s so ridiculous that the Elon Musk would take time out of running Tesla and Space X and The Boring Company to write an encouraging comment on a loser’s obscure, crappy website. It’s so unbelievable that the joke almost falls flat. However, I do feel less unimportant now.

I dreamt that Kim Kardashian was wearing a beautiful outfit, beige and gold. And I kept staring at her intensely and thinking, “Are people really this smart? Capable of creating this clothing?” Kanye West was being accused of selling his soul but he denied it and I was asked if I wanted to do the same for the power and glory. A few dream sequences later I was at a Tesla dealership. My mom had brought me there and kept trying that I get a job. She said, “It’s easy, all you have to do is show cars.” I said, “No! No! I can’t do it!” Then I sat on some seat and there was a man telling me he thought it was better to deal with people having real conversations than to work reading a piece of paper. I said, “I prefer the paper.”

I told my cousin Diego that if I wasn’t already sure this was a simulation then this does it. He asked why. I told him it was because it makes no sense that Elon Musk would discover such an obscure website (and exactly at the time when I asked if Elon Musk was next.) He tells me to ask Elon how he came across my website. But although he might have a story about it, I think it’s too late to make this seem “realistic.” In the past I’ve also had experiences with people commenting on some distressed writing on the details section of a random video in the super obscure fragmentsoflifeforagi YouTube channel soon after I edit it. And these are videos with like 15 views. That person also told me I was not alone and that I’m not the first to wake up.

I slapped myself a few times. “You’re supposed to be happy, the main character of the universe commented on your site.”


And oh God now Eliezer makes a comment!

I don’t know how I should feel anymore. This is weird. I don’t know what’s going to happen.

When I was in the hospital there was a young man my age who was a Jew, a software engineer, constantly mentioned that his mother was a sadist, and believed he was God himself. I asked him if he knew about Kingdom Hearts. He said he didn’t. I explained the premise to him and he said, “Yeah, I think life is basically Kingdom Hearts.” So the story goes that at first the three young teens were living in Destiny Islands (paradise) but they wondered why they had to live there. “If there are any other worlds out there, why did we end up on this one? And suppose there are other worlds, then ours is just a little piece of something much bigger,” said Riku. By wishing to go to other worlds they opened the door to darkness and they were hurled all to different places in the universe. From there on Sora’s task is to help with the particular problems of each world he visits and to reunite with his friends Riku and Kairi. This is a wonderful story and if something like it is true then I might have to say that I’m beginning to think this isn’t so bad after all. Once I begin helping this world, traveling to other worlds, and finally reuniting with my long lost friends I will be happy.

17 thoughts on “This Is Weird

    • Also to anyone who tries to post a comment, if you aren’t a regular commenter on the blog your comment will probably require approval before its posted. See his Yudkowski comment screenshot to see what I mean. Comments from new people require Alejandro to click “approve.”

      I hope some other regular commenters who don’t require approval can chime in here.


      • If anyone wants to post a comment here but is unable due to the approval thing, feel free to email me your comment at and I’ll post it here for you. Feel free to contact me if you have anything else to say relevant to the situation.

        Another thing to note, in case his parents see this, the timestamps on comments on this site are GMT timezone, I believe. It’s 8:03pm EST 3/8/2020 here right now as I post this.


  1. Those are both Oregon IP addresses which are close to eachother.

    In general, it seems your compass for navigating truth has become haphazard, heavily influenced by your emotions and giving no heed to the hypothesis that your ideations are products of a mental disorder and/or self-soothing.

    I can respect that the poster pretending to be those famous people is trying to cheer you up, but he’s leading you further into the untruth of your solipsism/Most-people-aren’t-real hypothesis, which is ultimately harmful for you.

    I believe the real truth will set you free, and that in your heart-of-hearts you realize these theories about solipsism or most people not being real is just a self-soothing mechanism.

    You needn’t be afraid of truth. People who have attained the highest levels of spiritual understanding from all traditions, and even many people who have had profound psychedelic experiences, realize that life is not hellish or absurd, but rather they come to understand the logic of love behind it all. And they come to understand that their own suffering isn’t something they need to be so apocalyptically gloomy about.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, I still believe people are fake. In my heart-of-hearts I believe that you are fake. Even if I saw you in person I would think you are not conscious and are some completely different kind of creature from myself. And there is obviously no logic of love behind it all. God is a sick, twisted creature and I have to put up with his bullshit for all eternity. I would definitely call that absurd and hellish. The IP address for Kim Kardashian comes from Slovenia, the one for Eliezer Yudkowsky comes from Pittsburgh, and the other two come from Oregon.


      • Would be funny if solipsism or the p-zombie theory was actually true and you were one of the NPCs put here for me so I don’t believe in it or something. Solipsism-espousing p-zombies, now that would be amusingly absurd.

        >I have to put up with his bullshit for all eternity

        You don’t. This world is our training ground and test.
        This kind of view from open individualists and the like is lacking because it fails to recognize that our personal locus of consciousness is forward-eternal, so the percentage of our subjective experience that is not spent in heaven (assuming we don’t fail completely and go to an eternal hell) is infinitely small.

        Also, apologies for over psychoanalyzing you earlier and imputing motives. Sometimes I just have hard time believing that someone actually believes what they claim to believe. Lack of empathy on my part probably.


  2. I feel like I’m constantly looking for a long lost friend too. That person has been my best friend at least two times in different agents but as of now he has always had blonde hair, and I always believe we won’t fit together the first time we meet but something draws us together before something tears us apart.
    I feel like crying just mentioning it. It’s the only person I’ve truly loved I think and feels like the only person that has loved me in meat space for more than physical features or fetishistic and selfish desires. It feels like an unreal contrast to suffering.



    Alejandro I’m so scared and crying. Please don’t be dead. If you are, God please save this suffering soul. Bring him eternally into heaven. If you are dead I will pray for your salvation for the rest of my life.

    I am mortified that my above comments might have contributed. Oh God. I was only trying to help you. I’ve been sending him messages for months on reddit, trying to cheer him up and tell him my perspectives on spirituality, Christianity and whatnot. Lord have mercy.

    I love you man. This is so terrible. In a previous post he was talking about trying psychedelics again. Maybe a bad trip and he jumped in the lake or something?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. From his post: “Once I begin helping this world, traveling to other worlds, and finally reuniting with my long lost friends I will be happy.”

    Maybe he was trying to “travel to other worlds”?


  5. My heart has been seriously hurting since Thursday, now I partially understand why. You are too pure for this mislead society and are missed. Come home and relax. I am so sorry. The end has arrived.

    “And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.” Rev 20:10


  6. Hey, everyone. There has been a Spanish-language journalist reporting on his case in Waukegan. The last report I saw was a community vigil for him on March 11th, which means wasn’t found by then. Catholics usually hold vigils for people who are dead, but it seems like his family is still hoping to find him. The coronavirus thing seems to exacerbate the situation since police forces have much more on their hands and won’t be able to focus on something like this. I don’t know what will happen. If he is dead, I’d be horribly sad. He is one of the few people in the world that I actually like and I enjoyed reading his blog and watching his videos. In a weird way he inspired me. I just hope he shows up, but if he is dead then I hope he has found peace. The saddest part of this situation is that he viewed the world as suffering, but almost ironically I think he helped us all suffer less. If he is alive, then I hope he is okay. But frankly, I fear the worst at this point. Truly I’d miss him like hell.

    I’m going to link the vigil for him here (hopefully the link works):

    If you all find anymore information, please post it here. If they found him at any point, then he is probably in a psych ward right now and we’ll have to wait for him to come back. Obviously if they didn’t find him, then we’ll wait in vain. I just really, really hope he is okay. My heart is broken right now.


  7. New update on Alejandro today from the only guy who is doing any reporting on the subject. Sadly, he hasn’t been found.

    I’m going to link the article but it’s in Spanish. I’ll give a rough translation of the relevant parts.

    “And on the subject of staying at home (as it relates to coronavirus stuff), there is a mother who would give everything to see her son back home with his family. It’s the mother and family of Mario Alejandro Montaño who disappeared last March on the 3rd around Waukegan’s shore and who still hasn’t been found. We don’t forget about him her and we continue with hope in our hearts that we might fight him; we’ve received a lot of comments from people who are worried about Mario and his whereabouts, but unfortunately, and despite the efforts of his parents, we don’t have any sign of him. We’ll continue searching.”

    Man, I feel horrible right now. I hope he shows up soon.


  8. I miss him so much…. Alejandro, please be alive and please come home. 😦

    I listened to this and cried thinking about him earlier:

    I know he loved Berserk. And the lyrics to the song just messed me up. I can’t stop thinking about him. I hope he is okay. 😦


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