I couldn’t stay surrendered. I did my workout today and caught up on yesterday’s. The amount of discomfort induced by squats is ridiculous. At this point it would be better if I didn’t care about my appearance and could just give up and take it easy. And what do squats do for my appearance anyway? But I probably don’t do it just for my appearance. I do it to anchor myself in something. I do it because of my inner drive towards stoicism.
I don’t believe real people create music. I believe music comes from a divine source and there’s not an unlimited amount of possible good songs. There is a limited amount of aesthetic-space to be explored. But of course I’m still somewhat open to the idea that real people like myself are the godlike creatures that create the beautiful music. Perhaps all the members of Fightstar really are conscious and just like myself except that they skillfully discovered good music using their hands, mouths and ears. Perhaps XXXTENTACION walked this earth just like myself and really was shot dead. Maybe there is something that it’s like to be Utada Hikaru and Yoko Shimomura. Maybe they are favored by God and were born in some kind of high caste. Maybe I was hated by God and born in a low caste. But at this point I’ve experienced too many “simulation feelings and sensations” that it’s easy for me to see these excellent performers as fake. It makes me feel a little bit better that they are not like me. They are actors on a screen, the screen of my consciousness.
Have you ever been inside a battle ship? Like in an airplane, the simulation feelings really hit hard then. People like myself couldn’t have built this.
I don’t think there is something that it’s like to be my dad going to a factory six days a week. It’s too depressing to believe in a world like that.
Animals are not suffering. Animals are in on this.