Fourth Day In Dominican Republic

Seeing all people as my direct and indirect servants who are not real like me does help. It doesn’t help with my loneliness but it helps with not feeling that this universe is so evil. It is perhaps a mean prankster but not pure evil the way it would be if people were real. I’ll make that trade any day – to sacrifice the conscious reality of humankind in order to attain peace of mind. And it’s not just all the shootings and stabbings that I can’t believe in, I also cannot believe that conscious people like myself are capable of the level of performance that they achieve. So that trade balances out my luck on the one hand and my misfortune on the other (“Luckily” I’ve never experienced serious violence and “unluckily” I’ve never experienced what it’s like to perform at a high level on something.) I don’t believe in luck. I think everything is destined/set up to be the way it is. I think the generalizable principle is not that I’m lucky. I think the generalizable principle is that the universe doesn’t allow for discomfort or evil beyond that which I have experienced. Therefore people who claim that they themselves or others have experienced great evil are lying. They claim to not be philosophical zombies but I don’t believe them. Yet I still try to not feel bad about kids, all of whom are being raised to be slaves. It’s a bit difficult to not attribute consciousness to something that looks like myself but I’m getting better at it. I already do not feel any consciousness from people commenting on this site or my YouTube channel or sending me messages. But I still have to practice with faces in person.

The fact that everything works so well is divine, it is magical how causality just unfolds in such a way that people’s collective behavior leads to this hotel and these streets and everything else that fundamentally functions. What distresses me is the question of what it’s all for. All this “effort” for what? I’m not happy. So if it was an honest attempt to make me happy then it failed. But I feel that it was not an honest attempt. After understanding its power I no longer believe in accidents. It could give me true paradise but it gives me this makeshift parody of paradise instead because it deliberately chooses to punish me.

Oh and my new thinking does work like a charm. I passed by a woman with her infant on a stroller and I thought, “They’re not real. They’re my servants.” And no more anger and sadness. They’re just not real and that’s something I have to learn. No one is truly reading this site except for me. I may get a tiny few reactions but these only exist for me. And it’s always the universe speaking to me, never independent skin-bound souls.

I’ve seen quite a few fit guys however I have not seen any hot Dominican or tourist women. Beauty truly is scarce in this world. My mom says God made everyone beautiful. I strongly disagree.

I saw a boat that said, “Para todos sale el sol.” Then I saw a baby. This made me think if heaven was guaranteed for everyone, would it be moral to bring people into this world? I think the answer depends on how good heaven is and how long it takes to get there. Will it be immediately after death? Will there be ten or a hundred more lives and deaths? Will there only be a bardo state for some time before entrance is allowed? Is it painful purgatory instead? How painful? Depending on the answers to these questions the answer may be yes or no.

The day was uneventful. I worked out and I ate and I walked.

11 thoughts on “Fourth Day In Dominican Republic

  1. hey you, anonymous internet person who thinks we are all your servants… known as “Mario” and “kill(ss)ing asuka”

    I find your attempts to wrestle with all these questions in the highly intelligent and lucid way that you do to be quite entertaining!

    but have you considered…

    maybe you are my servant?

    I check your blog here regularly, and so glad you are posting more these days… (but I would expect this of any of my servants, so glad you are back in line)

    found you more interesting, though, when you were talking about the inevitability of open individualism given the assumption of physicalism.


    how did your provisional conclusion of open individualism collapse into your current solipsism?

    did you get disgusted at all the evil men (and womxn!) do? and you no longer wanted to be associated with such anymore?

    thereby wishing all this away into a single skull box (yours) with its own illusory cartesian certainty of existence?

    and the equally certain belief of the world’s illusory non-existence?

    maybe my skull box is the best and only one….

    maybe I am the only sentient being alive…

    well maybe me and my cat, but that’s it…

    OK, maybe me, my cat, and my brothers sister and close family, but THAT’s IT!!

    OK, maybe all the above, plus some of the people in the metropolis I am forced to work and interact with on a daily basis…

    ‘course, there is something maddeningly arbitrary about this cut off, no matter where you cut it.

    have you ever thought of why it is so arbitrary?

    I mean, why would it stop at me? (or you, for that matter?)

    please let me know if you have an answer, I would appreciate and enjoy it.

    and I do hope you feel better and get over this silly solipsism.

    (it’s a common first year philosophy, first bong hit delusion… the fact that you have stumbled upon it (with or without the influence of the drugs of philosophy or bong contents not withstanding) just shows how searching your search for answers is… keep it up! you’ll get out of the cul de sac soon enough.)

    everything is impermanent, even this comment on yer wonderful blog…

    even you and your solipsism

    A Friend (if you want one)


  2. its not possible for you to be the only conscious observer, if the universe was made for one person it was made for ME, not whatever you are. And I know this because I know 100% that I am experiencing “this”. If anything the universe is sending messages from your blog posts to me. Instead of the “replies being fake” it makes way more sense that you are fake. How is it that coincidentally I fucking stumbled on literally the ONLY blog of a kid ranting about solipsism, it’s more like god is trying to fool me by sending a performer to trick me into thinking that the performer is conscious with his “convincing” act of being a solipsist, antinatalist, and acting like a “conscious observer”. It’s like the universe wants me to think you and other people are conscious. It just seems crazy that I randomly stumble upon your youtube videos, while I was considering solipsism, and I go to your site, you like evangelion, just like me, you lift, and you are coincidentally acting all “conscious”. You could flip that logic around on me and say that this comment is an attempt to trick you into thinking im conscious, but the fact that this obscure blog exists and that you put all this effort into making 100’s of videos despite getting no views seems to be alot more coincidental and simulated. But maybe I’m wrong, maybe every human is “conscious”. or Maybe there are multiple “observers” planted in and the rest are p-zombies.


    • I sometimes wonder how many sentient people there are on Earth. I have a strong suspicion that there are only a few thousand conscious beings on Earth, and everyone else is a P-zombie.


  3. AND FUCK is it coincidental that you used to also be interested in being an aging researcher, and that you used to be interested in Aubrey De Gray’s work, and no, that’s not how I found your channel. You are such a coincidence to me.


  4. You’re an idiot. Also internally consistent but better philosophical frameworks exist. Your self-described suffering is incredibly insignificant and exceedingly self-indulgent. Better designed and operating machines of general intelligence wouldn’t be solipsistic, since that’s a non-probabilistic inference. And more likely, they wouldn’t be solipsistic if only because that would invalidate a large class of goals that would be part of a set of goals far more interesting than any set of goals you could have as such. Even if your goals include becoming “God.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s